Empathy —
The needed act of great courage
24 March 2016
"If you can
learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of
folks.
You never really
understand a person until you consider things from his point of view,
until you climb
inside of his skin and walk around in it."
~ Atticus Finch
in To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
"Only
curiosity about the fate of others, the ability to put ourselves in their
shoes,
and the will to
enter their world through the magic of imagination, creates this shock of
recognition.
Without this
empathy there can be no genuine dialogue, and we as individuals and nations
will remain
isolated and alien, segregated and fragmented."
~ Azar Nafisi
(Iranian-American writer)
"If you can't
have empathy and have effective relationships, then
no matter how
smart you are, you are not going to get very far."
~ Daniel Goleman (American author)
We humans
worldwide are crippled with Selective Empathy -- "taking sides" often derived from childhood
training and human separation.
Prejudiced and tribal, we easily -- often mindlessly -- disregard the ideas,
narratives, and humanity of "others" perceived as different from
ourselves.
This irrational Reactive Devaluation is well-documented in Stanford
University studies of Dr. Lee Ross -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_devaluation
In addition, Wohl and Branscombe
documented that the closer we are to our own unhealed pain of victimihood, the less empathy we have for others' grief and
our part in causing it -- http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/94/6/988/
This shadow-side of us humans globally is partially revealed in new 2016
Pew Research findings from Israel -- http://www.pewforum.org/2016/03/08/israels-religiously-divided-society/
Nearly half of the Jewish citizens of Israel would approve expelling the
Arabs, one-fifth of the population.
Not at all unique to Israel, this jaw-dropping symptom of human disengagement
darkens nearly every city and nation on Earth.
This must be a clarion call -- a cry out for urgent, citizen-driven contact
and communication that familiarizes, equalizes, and dignifies everyone, no
exceptions, no exclusions.
At the same time, increasing numbers of citizens are refusing to be enemies.
They insist on engaging. . . with empathy.
= = 1 = =
Empathy in
Jerusalem
Avner Gvaryahu,
an Israeli IDF paratrooper, and Palestinian Mohammed Dajani, courageously experienced human journeys toward
empathy for the "enemy" then painful rejection by their own people.
Aaron Davidman, an extraordinary Jewish
theatrical artist has become able to express from one mouth empathy for both
peoples equally and powerfully in his new off-Broadway sensation, Wrestling
Jerusalem -- http://www.wrestlingjerusalem.com
HEAR their stories.
LEARN about the social science and human experience of empathy,
and why reaching out to the "other" tribe makes our tribe so angry.
What
Happens When You Empathize With The Enemy
National Public Radio
(NPR) -- March 22, 2016
30 min. audio
http://www.npr.org/2016/03/21/471283599/what-happens-when-you-empathize-with-the-enemy
Let us remember
that everyone has a story, a reason.
With urgency and courage, let us choose quantum empathy over
selective self-importance?
= = 2 = =
Public Empathy
in California USA
As early as
1997, a handful of local Jews, Muslims, and Christians gathered 420
Palestinians and Jews for a community-changing Dinner-Dialogue -- http://traubman.igc.org/hope.htm
In April, 1999, this same Palestinian-Jewish Living Room Dialogue Group
fashioned a new Spring ceremony to deepen relationships.
With empathy for each one's faith tradition, the 46 Muslims, Christians, and
Jews chose a date not to distract from Easter or Passover.
It was received in the community with a spirit of inclusiveness -- not
exclusiveness -- while expanding awareness and people's identification with a
larger story
A
Celebration of Freedom for All the
Children
of Abraham, Hagar, and Sarah
http://traubman.igc.org/spring.htm
Seventeen years
later, this same small band of Dialogue participants continues doing what it
can to initiate and encourage acts of empathy around Earth -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish-Palestinian_Living_Room_Dialogue_Group
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Returning to the
Empathy of Golden Age Spain
in New York USA
January
10, 2016, Sunday in New York brought back palpable emotions common to the songs of Jews,
Christians and Muslims during the Golden Age of Spain.
Historic empathy lived in Spain among Jews, Muslims, and Christians for
nearly 800 years of Al Andalus or La Convivencia (getting along together).
The sponsors said: "In a day and time when politicians in the US and
globally exploit fear of our Muslim neighbors, it is helpful to revisit a time
when our communities lived in collaboration and cooperation with one another.
The result was a 'golden age' of philosophy and culture where all three
traditions influenced each other."
The diverse New Yorkers were inspired to be together, awakening the life of
caring about each other and sharing philosophy, poetry and musical cadences --
living in community.
Tres Sueños: When
Muslims, Jews and Christians Dream Together was sponsored by West Park
Church and the dance company Noche Flamenca.
Hebrew, Ladino, Spanish, and Arabic songs from the 9th 15th centuries filled
hearts, reminding us how we will return to our empathic best.
READ and SEE more:
Sharing
A Dream Of Peace
New York Jewish Week -- 15
January 2015
http://www.thejewishweek.com/blogs/well-versed/sharing-dream-peace
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Empathy Resources
"A high
degree of empathy in a relationship
is possibly the
most potent factor in
discovering about
change and learning itself."
~ Carl Rogers (1902-1987)
American psychologist; innovator of
Client-Centered Therapy
Rogers
describes the empathic way of being with another person:
1. Enter the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly
at home in it.
2. Be sensitive, moment to moment, to the changing felt meanings which
flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or
whatever, that he/she is experiencing.
3. Temporarily live in his/her life, moving about in it delicately without
making judgments, sensing meanings of which he/she is scarcely aware, but not
trying to uncover feelings of which the person is totally unaware, since this
would be too threatening.
4. Communicate your sensings of his/her world
as you look with fresh and unfrightened eyes at
elements of which the individual is fearful. It means frequently checking with
him/ her as to the accuracy of your sensings, and
being guided by the responses you receive.
5. Be a confident companion to the person in his/her inner world.
Carl
Rogers on Empathy
14 min video - 1974
PRACTICE
EMPATHY:
How
to Host an Empathy Circle
http://cultureofempathy.com/Community/Handouts/How-To-Empathic-Listening.htm
LEARN MORE from day to day:
EMPATHY
& COMPASSION: The Empathy Movement Magazine
The latest news
about empathy and compassion from around the world
http://www.scoop.it/t/empathy-and-compassion
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This message is on the Web at http://traubman.igc.org/messages/695.htm
Hundreds of other success stories are preserved at http://traubman.igc.org/messages.htm