People need people to learn, heal, and live "We"

14 September 2014



People who need people

Are the luckiest people in the world.

We're children, needing other children

And yet letting a grown-up pride

Hide all the need inside

Acting more like children than children."

~ Bob Merrill (1921-1998)

People who (realize they) need people may also be the wisest among us.
Tomorrow's leaders
will be learners marked by their humility and mutual respect --  asking questions, valuing and listening to others, empathizing with diverse other human beings.

Contemporary psychologists are clarifying why we're important to one another -- because any one of us sees only a tiny portion of life.
Without one another -- each person with minuscule understanding of information and people -- we are vulnerable to making poor, even disastrous decisions.

Stanford psychologist Lee Ross helped sponsor the 1991 successful Israeli-Palestinian conference that drafted the historic "Framework for a Public Peace Process"
"The Objectivity Illusion" is Chapter I of Ross's newest publication with updated insights about ourselves.

Ross warns of the perilous, powerful trap of "Naive Realism" -- the seductive sense that we're seeing the world as it truly is or should be, without bias or error.
Said another way by comedian George Carlin: "Anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."

Professor Ross clarifies the signs: "You see yourself as being about as politically liberal as it is reasonable to be.
On most issues, you see people who are to the left of you as a bit naive as more idealistic than realistic, and overly inclined to political correctness.
At the same time, you see those who are to the right of you as rather selfish and uncaring, as somewhat narrow-minded and not fully in touch with the lives that many people live and the problems they face in today's world."

"In short, you (and everyone else) see your own political beliefs and leanings as the most realistic response to the specific times in which we live and the particular problems we face.
You also see your views and positions as attuned to the realities of human nature.
What's more, given that you believe your political views are the ones most grounded in reality, it follows that those who do not share your views especially those far removed from you on the political spectrum are necessarily less realistic than you are.
They lack your objectivity ... are more prone to seeing political matters through the prism of their ideology, self-interest, upbringing, or some other distorting influence."

Much of life and people are invisible to us.
We all have limited experiences and biases
that shape what we see.
The wisest among us will respectfully inquire more while seeking the largest view in search of civil human affairs and ways to sustain life together that benefits all.

Neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi, MD (1977-2015) wrote:: "In the end, it cannot be doubted that each of us can see only a part of the picture.
The doctor sees one, the patient another, the engineer a third, the economist a fourth, the pearl diver a fifth, the alcoholic a sixth, the cable guy a seventh, the sheep farmer an eighth, the Indian beggar a ninth, the pastor a tenth."

The physician concluded:  "Human knowledge is never contained in one person.
It grows from the relationships we create between each other and the world, and still it is never complete."


The Wisest One in the Room:

How You Can Benefit from Social Psychology's Most Powerful Insights

Thomas Gilovich, Lee Ross

Free Press (December 1, 2015) - 320 pages

Delusions of Objectivity

Tim Hartford

Financial Times Magazine - 01 April 2016

When Breath Becomes Air

Paul Kalanithi

2016 - Random House - 228 pp.

p. 172-173

Below are living examples of engaged people.
Unlikely partners wisely seeking and finding one another, moving from "Me" to "We."




1. From Me to We

2. Hand-in-Hand: Arabs & Jews Living We

3. A Mosque and Church Living We

4. Holy Land and Global Travelers Living We

5. Resources

= = 1 = =
From Me to We
Our shared future is asking us to move "from Me to We" as illustrated at
Living our lives for one another.
Living We.

Each of us has reaped from the spirits and endeavors of others.
Let us also sow, give, initiate, and create for the good of others, for everyone, forever.

SEE youth becoming the needed adults of our times.
Rock stars of global change.
And elders being supportive of them.


We Day 2016

50-min video


= = 2 = =
Arabs & Jews Living We
Hand in Hand schools of Arab-Jewish integrated education is growing -- .
Students and their families build relationships while learning one another's languages, cultures, and histories.

Late August 2016, brand new Jewish and Arab teachers and staff arrived in Jerusalem from six campuses to talk and learn about what it means to join the family of bi-lingual, multi-cultural education.
The principals - Hasan, Masha, Arik, Nadia, Moran, Anat, Itai, Widad, and Adi - described their diverse schools through stories and their central challenges and successes.

Dr. Inas Deeb, Hand in Hand Education Director said: "In a conference we held a few years ago, there were only 50 teachers altogether in all of our schools.  To look out at 40 new faces in one year is very moving."
This big step for the new staff members was cooperatively organized by Ayelet Roth (Director of the school network) and Mohamad Marzouk (Community Director) along with the dialogue staff.
Some new teachers had experience in shared frameworks.
Others were meeting and speaking to Arabs or Jews for the first time.
All had a deep desire to create an inclusive, empathic, respectful culture.



Hand in Hand Opening Day for for 1.550 Arab and Jewish Children in Six Schools

September 1st, 2016


= = 3 = =
A Mosque and Church 
Living We
A Michigan Unitarian Universalist congregation found itself homeless as their church underwent construction.
A local mosque came to the rescue, offering them a space free of charge.

This has been the Muslim tradition for over 1,400 years to be hospitable, to take care of your guest, said Imam Sohail Chaudhry of The Islamic Center of East Lansing.
Many of the UUA congregants had never been inside a mosque before, said Rev. Kathryn Bert, senior minister of the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Greater Lansing.

"Getting comfortable with difference involves building relationships with people, said Rev. Kathryn Bert.
You can't just do it from a book.
People were so excited the very first day."

Before the churchs first service at the mosque, Bert fielded questions from her congregation about etiquette, including whether women should cover their heads, as is traditional in Muslim places of worship.
When Bert posed the question to Chaudhry the imam said it would be polite, but not necessary.

About 30 to 40 percent of the church women chose to wear scarves during services out of respect to the Islamic center.
This should be part of our vision, that we are together, Chaudhry said.


Why A Mosque Invited A Church To Use Its Space For Worship

This is interfaith at its best.

Huffington Post - 16 June 2016


= = 4 = =
Holy Land and Global Travelers 
Living We
In July, 2016, Muslim and Christian Palestinians with Israeli Jews joined with other interfaith travelers -- laity and clergy -- from Nigeria, Indonesia, Egypt, and Pakistan to relate in deep interfaith Dialogue.
Together they began developing ways to reduce sectarian clashes and find paths for people to come closer to one another.

Because of their authentic work where they live, participants were invited by Drew University to this second Institute on Religion and Conflict Transformation -- .
CRCC director Jonathan Golden: Religion is one of many root causes of conflict.
We should never underestimate the power of religion to motivate people to do both good and bad.

The diverse, sometimes adversarial women and men openly expressed their fears of the other, the traumas they have all experienced, and the stereotypes they hold of one another and keep them apart.
Together they became closer as they shared their individual dreams for their home countries, regions, and humankind.
SEE and READ more:


Holy Land envoys find common ground in NJ

Drew Univ. institute examines religious conflict transformation

NJ Jewish News -- 03 August 2016

= = 5 = =


One Voice

Barry Manilow - 1979

3-min music video

To listen again to another version

One Voice

3-min music video



Pre-deciding About Violence

August 2016

CONTEXT: The magazine for family therapy and systemic practice in the UK

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